Tag Archives: Boys

Sex And The City

Once upon a time… I was at home, sick. I decided I would have a pause from my CSI marathon watching, because after all I had come to season 7! And I decided to start watching the first season of Sex And The City. I could immediately hear women’s voices in my head discussing over the show, “You are so a Miranda!” “Oh, no you’re a Charlotte, aren’t you?” I must confess I cheated a bit, I have seen the movies and the occasionally episode on TV. But now I can’t stop hearing my thoughts read out by Sarah Jessica Parker, or Carrie, what ever you prefer.

Even though I my self am a teenager, I somehow relate to the thirty-something women. After all, no matter what age, we all search after that boy, that guy or that man. And we all know the stereotypes. We all know the situations, maybe not the exact same but more or less. And we all have that one thing in common: unlucky in love. Am I right? Well, not everyone. But that’s the purpose of the series, to show women everywhere, in any age, that they are not alone. That is also the main occupation of the main character, Carrie.

The series just proves one thing: women sells best. When the series were at it’s highest thousands – or maybe millions – of women gathered in front of the TV to watch the miserable women of Manhattan search for their one and only, or one time thing in some cases. The women would then pick up the phone and talk it all out with their friends. They would meet in coffeehouses the next day, or simply just chat it out at work. Either way, everyone watched Sex And The City. Well, maybe not everyone, but close. The series isn’t that much of a hit anymore, but as I mentioned the movies are. And thousands – or millions – of teenage girls sets the DVD in the player and have a real girls night watching the now forty-something women travel the world. And once again you can hear the streets, no walls – more specifically: facebook walls – fill up with the same sentences, “Oh you are such a Carrie, and you know it!” Oh yes, times have not changed as much as we thought they had. And I’m still in bed anxious to see the next episode of the thirty-something women’s next adventures… And they all lived happily ever after?

“Daydreamer. Sitting on the seat, soaking up the sun. He is a real lover. Of making up the past and feeling up his girl, like he’s never felt her figure before.” Daydreamer – Adele (19 – 2008)

Take A Deep Breath And Smile

Right now I am in a state of mind where I am angry at someone for making me smile, ready for REAL school (not just information and research school) and ready for uphill battle climbing. That is SO not typical me!

It confuses me that I am stepping out of my comfort zone and typicality. It is positive, but it scares me. I know myself well enough to know that I can’t handle all of this at once, but I’m hoping this is a chance for me to prove that I can! I can handle the responsibility, I can handle the pressure and I can succeed.

I try to find something positive in everything, but it’s easier to tell others what is positive in their problems than find them in my own. Sitting at school being super bored and trying to teach myself something useful instead of doing nothing. This is wrong because I should be doing what the teacher tells me to do. Don’t get me wrong, I do what I’m told, I just don’t do it as well as I could.

The upside to this “situation” is that I am not using all my energy contemplating about boys. For some reason that takes a lot of energy. Boys, boys, boys. For teenage girls they are like a crossword puzzle, we put in one word after the other and when we think we got it right we figure out that everything is wrong and we got to start all over again. This isn’t anything to complain about, but it takes up so much of our thoughts that in my case I get exhausted!

Surround yourself with positive things, people and thoughts (!) and everything is easier to handle, believe it or not.

“I won’t let the negativity turn me into my enemy, promise to myself that I won’t let it get the best of me. That’s how I want to be.” Think Good Thoughts – Colbie Caillat (All Of You – 2011)

Almost Bulletproof

Who decides what cheating is? Some define it as a kiss; others say it’s when you sleep with another person. But doesn’t it feel like cheating when someone is together with you and they have feeling for someone else?

I have one rule when it comes to relationships: if I like someone else I tell the guy I’m in a relationship with and break up (unless he refuses for some reason of course). I don’t have the heart to lie to a boy saying that I have feelings for him, when in fact my heart belongs to someone else. I could never kiss someone, and far from sleep with someone. And when the guy you’re “dating” knows this about you, wouldn’t the same rules apply to him as well? Maybe not, but it would be nice to know. Wouldn’t it?

Apparently I’ve been lied to for quite some time. Correction: almost trough the whole relationship. I did realize something was off, but I didn’t have proof. Now, some months after it ended I hear about it. I don’t really care: I’m over him. But I am a bit angry because I could never do that to him, and he knew that. I feel as if guys just use my trust to have “fun”. It hurts. Not because I love him, but because I put my trust in the wrong guy and believed his lies.

It’s all in the past and doesn’t really matter, but guys should know by now: a woman/girl always knows. We may not be bulletproof, but we know when something is off. Still we stick with him and tell ourselves that it will end and he will come to realize that we love him. He knows we will never leave and uses it to it’s full potential, until one day we leave. Yes, we’re brave when we want to be.

But boys: don’t, ‘cause she will know!

“Maybe next time he’ll think before he cheats!” Carrie Underwood – Before He Cheats (Some Hearts – 2005)

Not On The Same Page

You know how guys always say that girls are so complicated? Well, I think they’re wrong. Some girls are, but most girls just want to be loved. They also say that they’re so easy to understand, and that all they want is a sandwich and some different loving. Personally I think they’re wrong about this too.

I think boys are super complicated, or can be at least. I never seem to know where I have them. I never understand what they mean, and I take it the wrong way. They get my hopes up, and crush them down. Personally I don’t think it’s their fault, or mine. It’s a situation of misunderstanding. I don’t speak boy language, and they don’t speak girl language. In time I guess this will be sorted out and we will live a happily ever after, but in the meantime what do I do?

Also I don’t think they are as cold hearted as they appear. They always act so tough, but that can’t be the case. I see all these men walking around with their heart on their sleeve, ready to be hurt and willing to love. Most boys have it in them, but most boys don’t show us. And when they’re too late and another boy have, they end up hurting. Well, that’s how I see it anyways.

My perspective may be limited, but right now, that’s how I see it. What I want? I’ll quote Kelly Clarksons “Where Is Your Heart” form her Breakaway (2004) cd, “Where is your heart? ‘Cause I don’t really feel you. What I really want is to believe you. Is it so hard, to give me what I need? I want your heart to bleed, that’s all I’m asking for.” (It’s a bit edited).

You know some guys want women to come with an instruction manual, here is mine: I want to feel you hurt, I want to feel you love, I want to know what you’re thinking. That’s all, seriously.

“’Cause there’s only one thing I want. If it’s not what you’re made of, you’re not what I’m looking for. You were willing but unable to give me anymore.” Lucie Silvas – What You’re Made Of (Breathe In – 2004)

Sometimes It Hurts

The world was supposed to go under yesterday; it didn’t. I can’t help but think that would have been for the better. In this world today there are so much pain and sickness. Terrorism scares us all to death, and war is ruining families.

Heartbreak and divorces are also a reason for the pain around us. I don’t know the reason, but I know that there are more that just the heartbroken, divorced grownups that are hurt – the kids are also hurt. I am happy that my parents are still married. I’ve seen the way divorce ruin the best of people, but also how it makes one stronger. I don’t really know why I write about this, but I thought I should address it.

Then again, we can’t walk around and only see the dark side of life. Things happen for a reason, and somewhere down the road: everyone will find their true love.

“Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead.” Adele – Someone Like You (21 – 2011)

The Unknown Water

Have you ever felt like you’re way into a new territory, and you don’t know whether to go further in or run as fast as you can out? I am referring to love now. Referring to the part of love where you have no clue on where to go, where you are or what you’re doing.

I am far in the land of “I don’t know where to go or what to do!” I have no idea how I got here, or how to get out. Maybe I shouldn’t get out? But I’m so afraid that if I stay I’ll end up heartbroken. I know that that’s life, but if you ca spare yourself from one, I don’t see why you shouldn’t.

Taylor Swift spoke up about her view on love to In Style, she said “There are no rules when it comes to love. I just try to let love surprise me because you never know who you’re going to fall in love with. You never know who’s going to come into your life.” And I do agree with her, but I am too scared to jump, because I know there’s a chance I will fall alone (Yes, bad reference to Taylors Jump then fall song).

When I don’t know what to do, I try to just think positive. I tell myself that “Everything happens for a reason, and everything works out for the better somewhere down the road!” Because whether you believe it or not: this is usually what happens.

“In your ocean, I’m ankle deep. I feel the waves crashin’ on my feet. It’s like I know where I need to be, but I can’t figure out.” NEEDTOBREATHE – Something Beautiful (The Outsiders – 2009)

The Bright Side Of Life

Ever been an outsider for so long you loose the belief that you can ever become an “insider”? Been that person no one wants to be for so long, you don’t believe you can ever be that some people are jealous of.

I’ve always been that girl, or at least in my mind. I never got good grades, no good in sports and never got boys. I don’t really know when this changed, it just did. I’m not super popular or anything, I’m just comfortable in my own skin and it’s noticeable. I don’t know if it’s because of the fact that I don’t care if people want to be me, or if it’s the fact that I don’t have time to think about it – either one is alright. I think that’s the clue to being happy – not caring – cause if you care, you over think and start being depressed over it.

Us girls – especially – compare ourselves to other girls, scientist say this is the reason so many teenage girls has low self-esteem and confidence. I can’t say that I don’t do that, but I can say that I try not to. It has really worn me down to think badly of myself all the time; it’s always better to see the bright side of things. If a girl is thinner than you, you’ll last longer if you were stuck in an ice-cold igloo. If she always has guys around her, you may have more girl friends than her.

The grass is only greener on the other side if you want it to be. If you open your mind and see things in a positive way, everything will be more positive. This does not mean bad things can’t happen, but more good things will be appreciated.

“All this time I’ve been running in circles, you were right behind. I guess I could’ve met you in the middle, how come it never crossed my mind?” Cheryl Cole – Hummingbird (Messy Little Raindrops – 2010)

If This Was a Movie

The story starts when a girl is born. As she grows her many diseases are discovered. Yes, she is very sick, but survives. As she starts at school she’s only got one friend in her class. She doesn’t have many friends outside of class either. She spends her days watching Sponge Bob on Nickelodeon. Soon enough she has to fight for her friends, too bad she doesn’t know how. She cries, she screams, but nothing helps. Soon enough she discovers her muscles, and soon enough she learned to only use her muscles in sports. She learned to use her big mouth in the right ways.

Soon enough she feels alone. She feels the need of a loving boy. She closes up; she doesn’t want anyone to know. She becomes insecure. She’s too fat, too lazy, not concentrated, and not good at school. Nothing is good enough.

In comes prince charming. He’s got HUGE muscles. His blue eyes are breathtaking. And his sweet, white smile is heart melting. He can make her day just by giving her a look. He is a soccer player – a good soccer player. He’s not all that good at school, but she can always teach him. Sometimes she feels like she is too smart for him, and other times he is too smart for her. He just has to be perfect.

The blue-eyed boy takes on his black cloak and disappears in the night. When the sun rises the morning after a white horse is seen in the horizon. The prince on top of the white horse has got dark hair. His deep brown eyes make her fall. She falls deep for him, just when she thinks she will never fall in love again. He’s rich and caring. He will never let her down. He will never make her sit alone at Valentines. He likes to bring her presents. And doesn’t miss an opportunity to be with her, even if it’s just for a second. They get married, have a big dream wedding, and have two kids and a big house.

Yes, this is what a fairytale movie would be like. You’re brokenhearted only once, or hopefully never. The shining knight comes riding in on a white horse – or in this case prince. But it’s only a movie – at least for me. For those who are lucky enough to have this movie life, where everything works out in the end are darn lucky. I wish I were that lucky.

“Come back come back to me, like you would you would if this was a movie, stand in the rain outside till I came out.” Taylor swift – If This Was a Movie (Speak Now – 2010)

Make me smile

Why is it that we go from being head over heels in love with a guy, to be sad every time we hear his name? The worst thing is; he doesn’t even know any of this, and he hasn’t really done something wrong. Well, sometimes he has, in this case: him not doing anything was what was wrong.

I’m taking it one step at a time. I’ve been so happy lately, it’s hard remembering how to become happy. I just expected to wake up happy, and stay happy forever. Now I’m sitting here thinking what I can do to get a smile back on my face again. I must admit that I just LOVE being happy. Being sad is just- well – sad. I often turn to music in times of sadness, but sometimes (like now) it only makes me sadder. It seems like I can’t win this fight.

One day, when I’m happy again, everything will be great. Yes, that day I will smile, I will laugh, and I will sing all the love songs I know. But for now, when I’m not so happy I will put up a frown, sing sad songs, write depressing blog posts (like this), and look depressingly on television in lack of anything else to do.

Yes, boys are stupid. Or maybe it’s just me. Maybe I just fall for the wrong guys. I used to be so happy, smile all day long. Now, my heart is sinking to the bottom of my stomach and I struggle to put up a fake smile. How is that fair, and how is that possible? I was happy yesterday, today: not so much. Tomorrow: hopefully happy, or at least happier than today!

“But you don’t love me anymore, you don’t want me anymore.” Leona Lewis – Homeless (Spirit – 2007)

The Cinderella-dream

I guess I’ve always believed in the fairytale endings. The Romeo and Juliet, two people destined to meet and fall in love. Cinderella and the prince, live happily ever after. But as I grow up and see all the pain and heartbreak around me it’s harder and harder to believe in this theory.

When I was six years old I sincerely believed that my first boyfriend would be my last. We would meet young, get married by the time we were 20, and have two kids – two identical-boy-twins. As I grew older this vision of mine change drastically. I saw all the pain a boy could make. One little, stupid, ego boy could ruin a whole life.

I don’t know when I realized all this, but somewhere down the road I started thinking of boys as devils. Yes, they’re like devils in disguise. In daytime they lurk you in, and when the moon rises up they tear out you heart and make you feel those feelings you don’t want to feel (yes, this is similar the way Carrie Underwood described it in her song “Cowboy Casanova”). I don’t think they do it on purpose, but I still place every boy in this category. Even though I believe that out there there’s a boy who will never leave me, never stop loving me, never hurt me and never hide anything for me. Still, I haven’t categorized any boy under this category yet.

Why don’t girls trust boys? Well, some does, but deep inside: we really don’t trust them. We’re born not to trust. We’re born with a jealous heart. Again, not every girl is like this. I mean we trust, we just don’t fully trust. We’ve got out guards up to not get hurt, but often they are the ones who’ll burn us. You know: you come to a conclusion, say he’s cheating, but really he was planning a surprise for you. This leads to a fight, which eventually leads to two broken hearts, all because a woman can never fully trust. Or maybe it’s the man who is sneaky and is never really trustworthy? I’m really no the one to jump to a conclusion on this subject; I’m just airing my thoughts.

Now, when it comes to boys understanding of women: we are not all that complicated! We just want to feel loved and safe. We want to feel special. That isn’t all that hard is it, to give a compliment once in a while, or to ask, “How was your day?” and truly care about the answer? It doesn’t take all that much energy, really! Open you mouth and talk, that’s all. Think all of the marriages that would be saved if people just talked, and really said what was on their mind. Well, some were domed form the start, but it would have helped a bit at least.

Back to the Cinderella-dream: every little girl dreams of real love and a happily ever after, but what about boys? In the teenage years it seems like most of them only want to get a girl in to bed, and never really get their feelings involved. Do they dream about happily ever after? Or does one need two X chromosomes’ to have this dream?

After airing my thoughts I’ve reached this conclusion: when I find that boy who have “the Cinderella-dream”, and who will never cheat on me I’m never letting go!

“Am I a stupid girl, for even dreaming that I could?” Katy Perry – Not Like The Movies (Teenage Dream – 2010)