Tag Archives: Breathe

Not On The Same Page

You know how guys always say that girls are so complicated? Well, I think they’re wrong. Some girls are, but most girls just want to be loved. They also say that they’re so easy to understand, and that all they want is a sandwich and some different loving. Personally I think they’re wrong about this too.

I think boys are super complicated, or can be at least. I never seem to know where I have them. I never understand what they mean, and I take it the wrong way. They get my hopes up, and crush them down. Personally I don’t think it’s their fault, or mine. It’s a situation of misunderstanding. I don’t speak boy language, and they don’t speak girl language. In time I guess this will be sorted out and we will live a happily ever after, but in the meantime what do I do?

Also I don’t think they are as cold hearted as they appear. They always act so tough, but that can’t be the case. I see all these men walking around with their heart on their sleeve, ready to be hurt and willing to love. Most boys have it in them, but most boys don’t show us. And when they’re too late and another boy have, they end up hurting. Well, that’s how I see it anyways.

My perspective may be limited, but right now, that’s how I see it. What I want? I’ll quote Kelly Clarksons “Where Is Your Heart” form her Breakaway (2004) cd, “Where is your heart? ‘Cause I don’t really feel you. What I really want is to believe you. Is it so hard, to give me what I need? I want your heart to bleed, that’s all I’m asking for.” (It’s a bit edited).

You know some guys want women to come with an instruction manual, here is mine: I want to feel you hurt, I want to feel you love, I want to know what you’re thinking. That’s all, seriously.

“’Cause there’s only one thing I want. If it’s not what you’re made of, you’re not what I’m looking for. You were willing but unable to give me anymore.” Lucie Silvas – What You’re Made Of (Breathe In – 2004)

Make me smile

Why is it that we go from being head over heels in love with a guy, to be sad every time we hear his name? The worst thing is; he doesn’t even know any of this, and he hasn’t really done something wrong. Well, sometimes he has, in this case: him not doing anything was what was wrong.

I’m taking it one step at a time. I’ve been so happy lately, it’s hard remembering how to become happy. I just expected to wake up happy, and stay happy forever. Now I’m sitting here thinking what I can do to get a smile back on my face again. I must admit that I just LOVE being happy. Being sad is just- well – sad. I often turn to music in times of sadness, but sometimes (like now) it only makes me sadder. It seems like I can’t win this fight.

One day, when I’m happy again, everything will be great. Yes, that day I will smile, I will laugh, and I will sing all the love songs I know. But for now, when I’m not so happy I will put up a frown, sing sad songs, write depressing blog posts (like this), and look depressingly on television in lack of anything else to do.

Yes, boys are stupid. Or maybe it’s just me. Maybe I just fall for the wrong guys. I used to be so happy, smile all day long. Now, my heart is sinking to the bottom of my stomach and I struggle to put up a fake smile. How is that fair, and how is that possible? I was happy yesterday, today: not so much. Tomorrow: hopefully happy, or at least happier than today!

“But you don’t love me anymore, you don’t want me anymore.” Leona Lewis – Homeless (Spirit – 2007)

Just Breathe

I don’t know why I write this. It’s just lately I’ve had the need to write. Not for a reason, just to get it out I think. You know how it is. You’re 16; schools a drag, there’s a boy messing with your head, your parents always complaining. It takes a lot of energy from me. And it doesn’t help when there’s more than one boy who’s messing with you head. There’s the ex who is still in love with you. The stupid boy you don’t like who likes you.

And the guy you like, but does he like you back? I don’t know! He sends SUCH mixed signals; well, I do as well, so I really can’t complain.

And then there’s the: I’m too fat; I’m too ugly problem. And it doesn’t help when your mom says you’re fat as well as your head telling you. Yeah, I cried myself to sleep that night!

And now? What is it now? I don’t feel like my parents notice me, something which is weird seen that I am an only child. But they’re ALWAYS complaining; saying that I don’t help out around the house. Well, it’s true, but once I actually do something they forget it after two minutes! And I don’t really know why, but I just feel so empty right now. Right now I’m sitting here telling myself: Breathe, breathe, breathe! Maybe it’ll help?

“I can’t breathe without you, but I have to.” Taylor Swift ft. Colbie Caillat – Breathe (Fearless 2009)