Why is it that we go from being head over heels in love with a guy, to be sad every time we hear his name? The worst thing is; he doesn’t even know any of this, and he hasn’t really done something wrong. Well, sometimes he has, in this case: him not doing anything was what was wrong.
I’m taking it one step at a time. I’ve been so happy lately, it’s hard remembering how to become happy. I just expected to wake up happy, and stay happy forever. Now I’m sitting here thinking what I can do to get a smile back on my face again. I must admit that I just LOVE being happy. Being sad is just- well – sad. I often turn to music in times of sadness, but sometimes (like now) it only makes me sadder. It seems like I can’t win this fight.
One day, when I’m happy again, everything will be great. Yes, that day I will smile, I will laugh, and I will sing all the love songs I know. But for now, when I’m not so happy I will put up a frown, sing sad songs, write depressing blog posts (like this), and look depressingly on television in lack of anything else to do.
Yes, boys are stupid. Or maybe it’s just me. Maybe I just fall for the wrong guys. I used to be so happy, smile all day long. Now, my heart is sinking to the bottom of my stomach and I struggle to put up a fake smile. How is that fair, and how is that possible? I was happy yesterday, today: not so much. Tomorrow: hopefully happy, or at least happier than today!
“But you don’t love me anymore, you don’t want me anymore.” Leona Lewis – Homeless (Spirit – 2007)